Our Marriage Ceremony

Emily and I were married in Alabama. There, the State has a bit of a different take regarding marriage: it is simply done by signing a State document with a Notary Public. We still wanted to have a ceremony in front of all who came out to support us, so, we decided to speak at the ceremony ourselves. What follows is the text from that ceremony and then our vows to each other.

The Ceremony

Emily

Marriage is God's. I learned this by not being able to be married for so long. Of course, I recognize I'm lucky to be married at the young age of 34 - and a wonderful marriage is worth waiting for - but, for well over a decade, I both longed for and feared marriage...perhaps above all else. Due to severe trauma, I couldn't open up and make myself vulnerable enough to do this...until now. To say that I was devastated not to be able to be married sooner would be an understatement. I prayed, I did more soul-searching than I ever could have imagined, and I worked as hard as I could. God taught me a lot - above all, that He is in charge, He is love, and marriage is His.

He taught me the kind of man I needed to look for and the kind of partner I needed to be. He helped me grow into the woman I am today - capable of the best and highest kind of marriage - the way that God intends marriage to be.

I've seen many good, wonderful and many mediocre and bad marriages in my life. I've studied them. I've frankly obsessed over relationships and marriage. In recent years, I have learned so much more about divorce than I ever wanted to know - and I'm learning more by marrying someone who has been both married and divorced.

The experiences we've had in our past relationships, the work we've done on ourselves, and our relationships with God have prepared Mike and me for this.

I just want to say to anyone listening...

Everything I've been through, anything I could ever give is well worth it to enjoy marriage & family as God intends it.

Mike

Of marriage, our Prophet, President Nelson said:

Scriptures declare that “it is lawful that a man should have one wife, and they twain shall be one flesh, and all this that the earth might answer the end of its creation.” Another affirms that “the man is not without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.” Thus, marriage is not only an exalting principle of the gospel; it is a divine commandment.

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be married. My divorce was a particularly devastating event. Would I be able to come back from this? Would God ever entrust one of his beautiful daughters to me again? These thoughts plagued me.

Over the last five years though, I have had very specific impressions from God that He had plans for me and to keep my heart open for marriage.

In Isaiah, we read

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

With trust in God and these two concepts in mind, I moved forward with my life, knowing that he would keep his word.

This relationship was heaven sent. I know that God intended for Emily and I to come together. What she has to offer me and what I have to offer her compliment each other in such an amazing way.

I feel the fulfillment of that promise God made to me so many years ago: to be still and know that He is God. That he is ever mindful of me. That he had a plan for me, a beautiful daughter that he wanted me to marry.

Emily embodies all that I've wanted in a wife. She is powerful, intelligent, brave, but most important, spiritual.

President Spencer W. Kimball explained:

“To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times.”

Emily

I've gotta be honest: I feel like I struck it rich being married on 10/10/20. I feel like a wealthy, radiant person indeed being married today. Wealthy in love, radiant in support, swimming in blessings.

People keep talking about Covid weddings, and I don't want anyone to call this a Covid wedding because I feel that other things define this day. And they do.

As much as I've hurt over the shame and disappointments of planning a wedding during a massive pandemic, I have to remind myself that Mike and I never would have met - never would have gotten together - if it weren't for the Covid lockdown. Our social isolation drove us to join the same Facebook discussion group - drove us to put ourselves out there with strangers on the internet just to have people to talk to about important things. It was no accident that Mike and I met. It was no accident that this relationship transcended all obstacles, even Alabama to Texas. It was no accident that we dated, got engaged, and are married now during this time. It was meant to be.

It has meant more - to us and to other people - to have such a joyful love story in such dark times. The opposition has stretched Mike and me to do more, and be more, to focus on what is essential. I guess you could say we've been blessed to rise to the challenge. After the most rigorous training and preparation,it's Game Time. This is what we have been waiting for.

Mike

Within our faith, we believe that marriages and families can last throughout the eternities. I cannot think of any greater blessing or promise than that. Regarding this promise, President Henry B. Eyring said:

President Eyring said:

Every priesthood effort and every priesthood ordinance is intended to help Heavenly Father’s children be changed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ to become members of perfected family units. It follows that “the great work of every man is to believe the gospel, to keep the commandments, and to create and perfect an eternal family unit,” and to help others do the same.
Since that is true, everything we do should have celestial marriage as its focus and purpose. That means we must strive to be sealed to an eternal companion in the temple of God.

This sealing is extremely important to both of us. It will be something we complete very soon, in one of God's holy temples. Which temple is not important. But with the proper authority, Emily and I will have the promise of being together throughout the eternities. It is a promise neither of us take lightly. It is a promise that requires daily diligent effort and a life dedicated to Christ.

Being anchored to Christ will be essential in our marriage. I honestly can't think of a more fitting metaphor to our future than finding shelter in the midst of a rainstorm. Our shelter, our rock, our anchor will be Christ.

Said the Prophet Helaman:

Remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

Emily and I have worked hard to establish that pattern now. To put in the effort and to put aside our own self interests for that of the other.

Of this, President Nelson said:

Meanwhile, mortal misunderstandings can make mischief in a marriage. In fact, each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. Happiness can come to them only through their earnest effort. Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concerted effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort. That effort will succeed if each partner will minimize personal demands and maximize actions of loving selflessness.

Of effort, President Nelson would later say,

"the Lord loves effort, because effort brings rewards that can’t come without it."

The effort we have cultivated thus far has yielded a reward beyond my wildest dream.

Our Vows

Emily

You are always serving me. It's so easy for me to give you everything I have because you make it easy. You make serving you so fun, you make life with you so fulfilling, you make me feel so lucky to be alive.

I could not be more humbly grateful and BLESSED to promise to spend my life with you. Not only that - I promise to spend the rest of eternity as one with you.

The truth is, I can't understand marriage, just as I can't understand love, but that God would give me the opportunity to try - to firsthand experience the best of it - that maybe someday, a lifetime from now, I'll understand exactly what He's doing - it humbles me. It brings me to tears. It gives me wings.

I know that marriage is supposed to try you, to help you grow, but I also know that marriage is supposed to greatly reward you. And you, my sweet Michael - Mike - are my reward.

At the end of a long, desperate road - and the beginning of another one - I find...the absolute awe-inspiring beauty of your soul, waiting for me, unfolding at my touch.

I promise to always appreciate you, to date you, complement you, cherish you, and hold you. I promise to always need you, to support you, validate you, comfort you, help you, and challenge you - bring you to greater heights - and depth - and make you better...with God's help, of course.

I don't promise to be perfect, but I promise that God will make us perfect together - in Him. And I couldn't be more excited.

I love you, husband. ❤️

Mike

Emily, it may have been your smile that caught my eye. Your enjoyment of D&D and cosplay that piqued my interest. But it is your testimony of Christ’s atonement and complete dependence on God that has engendered the love I feel towards you. I have come to know Christ better and more intimately because of you. I am forever grateful to God for our relationship. Eternity, is how long I want to spend with you. I want to spend it deepening our love, strengthening our relationship with Christ, and jointing staying on this wonderful covenant path back to God. Emily, soon, we will go to one of God's temples where we will covenant with each other and him. We will be sealed. I promise to love God with all my heart, might, mind, and strength. To serve him diligently, faithfully, and willingly. It is in doing those things, that will enable me to be the man that you need, want, and deserve. I will love you. I will cherish you. Because my heart will belong to God, it will be yours. Now and forever, my beautiful elven princess