Unredeemable

In the movie Spirited, there is a poignant moment where we are allowed to understand the motivations behind Will Ferrell's character, The Ghost of Christmas Present - the reason he is so driven to stay in his post-mortal role, forgo retirement, and is so insistent on showing Ryan Reynold's character, Clint Briggs, can be redeemed...

Will Ferrell sings:

Am I forever unredeemable?
Can I ever overcome
All the wrongs I'm running from?
Can my worst be left behind?
And do I deserve to find
There's a soul who could see any good in me?
Or will I only ever be
Unredeemable?
Spent every waking minute
Taking all that I could take
Never stopped to reckon with
The ruin in my wake
With all the bridges that I burned
All the wounds I didn't mend
All the worth I thought I earned It turned worthless in the end
What was it for?
Is it possible I was meant for something more?
Am I forever unredeemable?
Can I be the man who breaks
From a lifetime of mistakes?
Can my worst be left behind?
And do I deserve to find
The kind of love that I could lean on every day?
Or will I learn I have to stay
Unredeemable?

This song resonates with me every time I watch it. Throughout my life, I have asked this same question: Am I unredeemable? This feeling of being unredeemable stalks me, even when I think I have found peace. Sweeps the sleep from my eyes night after night. Echoing the words of Paul, it is as a thorn in my soul. I've seen myself as hopeless. A lost cause. Unloved by the God who loves all. Left out of Christ's Infinite Atonement. This has left me feeling so much despair, pain, and anguish. It has driven me to addictions, which just fuels my sense of "unredeemable-ness".

In The Book of Mormon, both Nephi and Alma shared similar sentiments.

Nephi wrote:

O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins;

Speaking to his son Helaman, Alma shared his feelings of despair when visited by an angel:

But I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins.
Yea, I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy commandments.
Yea, and I had murdered many of his children, or rather led them away unto destruction; yea, and in fine so great had been my iniquities, that the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror.
Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body, that I might not be brought to stand in the presence of my God, to be judged of my deeds.
And now, for three days and for three nights was I racked, even with the pains of a damned soul.

Have similar thoughts plagued you? Do you feel as though change is just ever beyond your grasp?

Satan has many tricks up his sleeve. As the Father of Lies, few are as dangerous as one that seems so prevalent today and worried Will Ferrell's character: men cannot really change. Is that true? As he pleads in his song, "Can I be the man who breaks From a lifetime of mistakes?"

Christmas is such a special time as it brings us face to face with Christ, his birth, his life, his mission, and his love.

The Good News of the Gospel of Christ is that with Him, men can be changed. We, alone, cannot change ourselves. That shouldn't be seen as a failing or a weakness to be shamed and dreaded. But Christ can change us. That is the glorious news of the Gospel. It is the reason that angels sang out at his birth:

Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Throughout the scriptures, Christ’s work, his glory, his passion, and his joy has been to change men from our naturally fallen state to something more glorious. He seeks to share his inheritance and glory with us. He seeks to free us from Satan.

Whenever I watch Spirited and that scene comes up, with the sheer look of despair that The Ghost of Christmas Present has, I feel as though I want to to run to him, grab him by the shoulders, and shout, "My good man! You are redeemable. You have been redeemed! Jesus Christ has wrought a great work and saved you!"

This was the conclusion that both Nephi and Alma came to as well. Continuing from their statements above we see their Christ-centered conclusion.

Nephi testifies:

…nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?
And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.
Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.

Alma concludes:

And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.
Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.
And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.
And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!
Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.

These are the conclusions of all the faithful men and women that have followed Christ and let him into their lives. No, they have not become perfect in an instant. There is work to be done as we constantly turn our lives over to Christ and seek his work, his nature, and his voice.

For me, Christmas is a time when I can slow down and let Christ remind me that I am loved by the All Loving God. I am part of Christ’s Infinite Atonement. I am redeemable.

In this season, I feel Christ wrap his arms tighter around me. The darkness fades. Peace floods my mind. I am reminded today - and every day - that I am redeemable, that I am loved. My past does not define me. My God and Savior define me. I am His and I am redeemed.